Chapter Text
Each day felt the same, if not worse for Johnnie, he was losing motivation to do anything, to film, to stream, to write music, all the things Johnnie loved started to feel like a task, he struggled greatly to find his spark.
The problem was, the more he fell behind in his schedule the worse he felt, because the more he fell behind the more he had too catch up on and things started too pile up, it caused a pit in his stomach making him feel nauseous every time he thought about how behind he had fallen,
To make things just that bit worse for Johnnie, social media exploded with his followers questioning where he was, why he hadn’t posted, people making up so many different rumours which circulated the internet spreading piles upon piles of fake stories, it was overwhelming for him, the amount of messages he usually receives doubled, it got to a level where Johnnie didn’t even want to look at his phone or even be near a screen.
Jake picked up on this, picked up on Johnnies absence, how he was spending way more time in his room, how he wasn’t joking around, Jake tried to help him, when Johnnie gets like this, he often puts all his self care out the door, often forgetting to even feed himself, that’s where Jake tries to step in to give him a hand, each night trying his best to make food for him, ordering Taco Bell and chick-fill-a, doing literally anything he could to make sure johnnie was being looked after. But it was hard, and it hurt him deeply to see someone he cared so deeply about struggling so badly, after all, Johnnie was Jake’s best friend, his person, he couldn’t help but think how awful life would be without having Johnnie around, that thought in itself was enough to fuel him to help more.
Jake was doing his now nightly routine of bringing Johnnie a small plate of food, tonight’s plate consisted of Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and a Dr Pepper, all things that in his head he classed as comfort foods. Using his free hand he knocked on the door gently as to not startle Johnnie tho at this point Johnnie expected Jake to show up every night at his bedroom door. “Come in” the muffled voice of Johnnie sounded through the door giving Jake the go ahead to enter, slowly pushing the door open he slowly toed his way into the darkly lit room, all over the floor we’re clothes scattered in every corner, his desk was littered with crumbled up with paper, notes of video ideas and lyrics for new song ideas, Jake’s eyes traveled over too the bed where Johnnie resided, he hadn’t left his bed in what must have been a week now, his body lay tangled in the sheets his back facing the door where Jake entered.
Jake slowly approached the bed, sitting down on the edge and placing the plate of food down on Johnnies bedside table. “Hey Johnnie boy..” he began, his voice full of empathy “brought you some food man..you gotta eat at least something today dude” johnnies shuffled about in his bed turning over to now face Jake “thanks man” johnnies voice was horse, as if he had just been crying, that made Jake hurt for his friend even more “I was thinking man” he sighed before staring up again “why don’t we get this room cleaned up, then, maybe go out for a walk or something? You haven’t been out in days man I’m starting to really worry about you cooped up in here” johnnie groaned, he knew Jake only wanted to help, but he didn’t want to be looked after, he was 26, he should be able to look after himself “I don’t need any help Jake, I’m fine, I appreciate the gesture but really man I’m not a kid anymore I don’t need babied” Jake shook his head “Johnnie I’m not babying you I’m jus-“ he was cut off by Johnnie suddenly sitting up in his bed “Jake seriously, I don’t need help.” His tone was deadpan which matched his expression on his face “can you just.. can you just leave please” Jake looked at him and sighed, tho he didn’t protest, there was no point “fine. Just eat something, and if you need me, tell me” with that Jake stood up and left shutting the door behind him.
The second the door shut, Johnnie felt a burning sensation in his eyes, once again finding himself fighting back the tears that threatened to spill, he was pathetic, he was a mess but he couldn’t bring himself to accept help, he wasn’t willing too accept that he was in a bad place, though part of him felt guilty, Jake tried so hard too help and johnnie was selfish, he didn’t even thank his best friend for the food, he wouldn’t be surprised if Jake moved out after seeing what a pathetic person he was, the thought of Jake leaving, that thought made the tear’s break free, hot tears streaming down his pale face as he tried desperately to cry silently with little success in doing so, and little did he know, just behind the door was Jake, listening, his own tears flooding down his face as well, a feeling of uselessness overcoming him.
